Helen Weston has lived with continuous chronic pain for 37 years, which affects her ability to do everyday things. When she ran out of cannabis during lockdown, she realised it was the one thing keeping her going.
“If it wasn’t for cannabis there is no way I would still be here,” says 54-year-old Helen Weston, who has lived with chronic pain for most of her life.
“I can’t move without it. I’m bed ridden, with no life, all there is is pain. Cannabis is what helps me cope. It’s the only thing that keeps me going and enables me to get through another day.”
Since the age of 16, Helen has suffered from spine and neck problems, which cause her chronic pain and muscle seizures, affecting her ability to move.
Later in life she began experiencing severe migraines brought on by triggers such as stress, flashing lights and computer screens and has a diagnosis of trigeminal neuralgia, described as sudden, severe facial pain which comes on in unpredictable attacks.
Helen realised early on, while still in her teens, that cannabis was more effective at managing her pain than prescription drugs.
“Since I was 16 I have found that the only thing that actually helps is cannabis,” she says.
“I’ve tried all different kinds of painkillers and muscle relaxants, you name it I have tried it, and none of them were very effective, but had a lot of side effects.”
Helen Weston
But the fact that cannabis was masking her symptoms so well, meant her broken spine went undiagnosed for almost a decade, after a spinal fusion failed.
“I was ignored for eight years by doctors after my first spinal fusion broke through no fault of my own,” says Helen.
“The stigma attached to cannabis – that I did mention using at the time – and the fact that it masked the symptoms to an extent and gave me so much mobility, despite a broken spine, meant that nobody believed me.
“By the time I got help in 1998 for my second fusion the surgeon said if I had got there sooner, he could have done more.”
Struggling with stigma
Helen has struggled to access cannabis illicitly for most of her life to manage the continuous pain, battling with both the practical and societal constraints.
Helen has struggled to access cannabis illicitly for most of her life, battling with both the practical and societal constraints.
“I’ve lived with continuous chronic pain for more than 30 years, it’s been a real struggle,” she admits.
“The only thing I could do for my back is swim, if I stop swimming my pain levels get higher and my mobility will get lower, so I just kept swimming but I couldn’t swim without the cannabis, I couldn’t move.
Helen continues: “I’ve even tried growing it on a few occasions, but I just couldn’t manage as I wasn’t physically fit enough.
“I’ve always been an advocate, but it’s got me into trouble. I’ve been treated like a fake, and a lazy pothead. When you get chatting to people at swimming, as soon as you say you use cannabis they don’t want to speak to you again.”
Helen adds: “I’ve had very negative responses from the medical profession, but it’s the cannabis that is keeping me alive.
When her cannabis supply ran out during the coronavirus lockdown last year, Helen got a glimpse at what life would be like without it.
“It was unbearable,” she says.
“I was experiencing severe headaches and the pain was immense. I knew it was legal at the time, but my headaches meant I couldn’t do the research on the internet.
“Everything in my body said just end it. If it wasn’t for my counsellor talking me down from one week to the next on the phone, and my friend who went out on a limb, I would have given up. If I run out of cannabis my life stops.”
Helen managed to get hold of a small amount of cannabis through a friend’s neighbour after approaching her and admitting she was “desperate”. It kept her going until she was able to make an appointment with a clinic in the UK.
Life-changing
She now has access to a legal prescription through Integro Medical Clinics, the impact of which has been life changing, she says.
“It really has had a positive effect on my life to get cannabis legally, it’s changed everything,” says Helen.
“I feel safer and more confident speaking about it with medical professionals, I’m not pushed around so much mentally now by it.”
She adds: “When I get it delivered by courier from the cannabis clinic, I still can’t believe it. After all these years I get it delivered legally via courier in a prescription bag, I still have to kick myself.”
Helen now uses a combination of strains, which work for her in different ways, such as helping her movement and motivation so she is able to keep up her swimming, and managing her headaches.
A big part of her life is swimming, which helps to lower her pain levels and improve her mobility, but without cannabis she struggles to
“Although it doesn’t cure it, I’m getting less headaches and they tend to be more mild,” she explains.
“I can use the computer for longer and it takes less time to recover – only a few hours rather than a day or two, so I can respond to an email or do some shopping.”
Something as simple as being able to use the computer for longer has made a huge difference to Helen’s quality of life, allowing her to connect with others in the cannabis and chronic illness communities online and become less isolated.
“My whole life has been about cannabis and I have finally found all these other people that are just like me and they can speak about it openly now,” she says.
“It’s the first time in my life I’ve got other people I can relate to.”
And now that she is comfortable speaking about her experience she is keen to help others access cannabis too.
“I feel really positive about the future, I’m so glad I found the clinic, I just wish it had happened sooner,” she adds.
“I’m not the only one and unfortunately there’s lots of people out there living with chronic pain and disability who probably don’t even know it’s legal, who could be helped by cannabis.”
If you have been affected by any of the topics raised in this article, support is always available. Contact Samaritans on 116 123, email [email protected] or visit www.samaritans.org
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